Frosty

Without weapons, without water, they killed each other a thousand times over and let currents drag them out to sea....” Diary of a Crazy Woman 8/19/2014

 

I am sad. I rise each day to try and am laid to rest when I do. I have tried desperately to give space. I have tried to be light with my hold. It was a simple gesture to spend a little time together and see if pains could be healed.

 

 

I can feel the words choking me in my throat. I curse your tone and your attitude and I hope like all mothers that someday you have a dozen just like you.......just as my mother did and her mother did and ever backwards of our line all the way back in time to the beginning.

 

The very things I always rejoiced in while you were growing are now a thousand swords that I have fallen on. I need advice! I seem to have under cooked my shoes and they are not tasty at all..... They are straight from the oven, yet they are frosty as hell!

 

Why do I try? Oh yeah! Because I have been told that I must! Because I have my own “issues” with my own mother. I have tried a million times over with her too. Do I just walk away? Do I stay to try again some time down the road? How does one “toughen” without “hardening” their heart?

 

A thousand questions. A thousand gestures. A thousand times. I can hear your eyeballs roll and I feel the places where you have pieced my soul with your barbed blows. It hurts to suck upon the wind that was meant to free both our souls.....

 

Without weapons, without water, they killed each other a thousand times over and let currents drag them out to sea....” Diary of a Crazy Woman 8/19/2014

 

Your veil is slipping dear......and your slip is showing......your eyes are piercing, your words are pointed, your regard is resented, and I bow now, ass cheeks glowing white......I retreat.

 

The sun is shinning. It should be warm, but it is frosty and the breath I exhale hangs forth in a cloud. Match. Point. Game.....I limp away...... I'm NOT sure I want to live to fight another day. I think I'll just sit and contemplate that for awhile.

 

Psst.....anybody got a band aid for the soul?

 

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